The holiday season often brings families together, but this year, it comes on the heels of a divisive presidential election. William FitzGerald, an associate professor of English at Rutgers University-Camden and a scholar in rhetoric and civility, shares insights into maintaining peace during holiday gatherings.
FitzGerald emphasizes the importance of recognizing shared bonds despite differing opinions. He advises remembering the purpose of these gatherings: to celebrate blessings as individuals and as a nation. “What unites us is greater than what divides us,” he says, suggesting that holidays serve as a time to set aside partisan politics.
FitzGerald encourages reflection before attending events to determine if one is seeking confrontation. For hosts, he suggests embodying hospitality, while guests should aim to be gracious. He warns that provocations may occur and advises being prepared for them.
Finding common ground is crucial. Discuss political topics through shared hopes rather than identity politics. Expressing sentiments like relief over the end of the presidential election or hope for the new administration’s success can foster unity.
He also advises against snarky remarks or blaming relatives for matters beyond their control. “The holiday dinner table is not an extension of the comments section,” FitzGerald reminds us.
Instead of making speeches when politics arise, he suggests asking questions and showing interest in others’ views without launching counterarguments. This approach can help diffuse tension.
For those wishing to avoid political discussions altogether, topics like children, travel, favorite shows or movies, and cherished family memories are recommended alternatives.
“Forget spontaneity,” FitzGerald advises but recommends preparing in advance for a positive experience during holiday gatherings.
“There’s nothing foolproof here,” FitzGerald concludes. “But goodwill and a focus on the reasons, personal and civic, that bring us together for the holiday season will give us reason enough to be thankful – and not just because it will all soon be over.’’
